In addition to Thanksgiving with the family, and everything else already blogged about, I got to attend BYU’s football match up with Utah. Another miracle win. Amazing day. Oh, and BYU’s basketball team played very well in a close loss to #1 UNC and the Boston Celtics got a miracle buzzer beater! Here are some pictures from Provo.
And some video:
Jonathan Tavernari helped lead BYU Basketball to their biggest win in over 40 years and to a (5-0) start. The Y defeated 6th ranked Lousiville tonight in Las Vegas. In addition to the huge football game tomorrow, BYU faces #1 ranked North Carolina that night as well. Heck of a weekend!
My wonderful brother returns from his Mission in 3 weeks. He spent most of the time in the Munich, Germany mission but was moved for these last few weeks to the Zurich, Switzerland mission. He has had a hard time in a hard are to be a missionary. He has expressed concern about what to speak about when he returns. Should he gloss over the struggles he’s had? He asked for advice. I reached back to my talk when I returned under difficult circumstances. I happened to come home around Thanksgiving time and was asked to speak about gratitude. I found my old talk and typed it up to send my brother to give him some ideas. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here are some excerpts.
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What is gratitude?
In Gospel Doctrine, Joseph F. Smith said:
“We are almost daily put under obligations to one another, especially to friends and acquaintances, and the sense of obligation creates within us feelings of thankfulness and appreciation which we call gratitude. The spirit of gratitude is always pleasant and satisfying because it carries with it a sense of helpfulness to others, it begets love and friendship, and engenders divine influence. Gratitude is said to be the memory of the heart. And where there is an absence of gratitude, either to God or man, there is the presence of vanity and the spirit of self-sufficiency.”
President David O. McKay said:
“Gratitude is deeper than thanks. Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.”
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How can we see the good without knowing the bad?
How can you or I be grateful for something, unless we have experienced opposite sensations of disappointment, opposition, or adversity? We can’t. There is no joy without sorrow, no hot without cold, and light without dark. The same with gratitude, I cannot feel grateful for something if I don’t know the difference. This idea goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. Their transgression opened the way for death, and all manner of sin, but it also made it possible for mankind to feel gratitude, and to know the difference between good and evil, and before having that knowledge, they could not truly know the emotion of happiness, because of their lack of experience with sorrow.
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Something to keep in mind, when we wonder why we are experiencing certain trials or pain, and questioning to ourselves why these things are necessary, or even why they are allowed to happen. Although it is hard to understand why things happen the way they do, especially at the time, we know they happen for a reason. And we know that if we do not pass through trail, we can feel no joy. Such trials only make us appreciate the good that we do have when the challenge is in the rear view mirror.
Joseph Fielding Smith summed it up best:
“The Simple fact is that we came here to partake of the bitter as well as the sweet, to knowledge and wisdom through the experiences which mortality affords that would prepare us to go back and advance to eternal perfection.”
“In mortal life we are in school where we are being trained in all the necessary experiences that will prepare us for eternal life. Therefore, some pain, some sorrow, perhaps disappointments are essential in preparing us as sons and daughters of our eternal Father, as well as the pleasant things in life in our preparation for the blessings of eternal life. Therefore, it is essential that we come in contact with some things that are bitter that we man appreciate the sweet.”
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Once again, Joseph Fielding Smith:
“We should never permit ourselves to say the Lord did something that was wrong, or that could have been avoided, or that there was a better way. We are very weak mortals. Our experiences are very limited , and we should not rise up and say that the Lord is unjust, or that he has committed an error.” Now, at least for me, that can be a very difficult pill to swallow. Because I find myself complaining in the very same way, when things don’t go the way I feel they should.
Now is there an example of something that seems less than constructive of even damaging at the time, that turns out to be a blessing? There are many, and I’m sure many of you have your own. One of my favorites is an experience of the Prophet John Taylor, found in his personal account of the martyrdom. I have edited down his experience, but it is still meaningful. He says:
“I fell upon the window sill and cried out, ‘I am shot!’ Not possessing any power to move, I felt myself falling outside the window, but immediately I fell inside, from some, at the time, unknown cause.”
Later, he goes on to say:
“Previous to the doctor leaving Carthage, I told him he had better take my purse and watch, for I was afraid the people would steal them. The doctor had taken my pantaloon’s pocket, and put the watch in it with the purse, cut off the pocket, and tied a string around the top; it was in this position when brought home. My family, however, were not a little startled to find that my watch had been struck by a ball. I sent for my vest, and, upon examination it was found that there was a cut as if with a knife, in the vest pocket which had contained my watch. In the pocket the fragments of glass were found literally ground into powder. It then occurred to me that the ball had struck me at the time I felt myself falling out of the window, and that it was this force that threw me inside. I had often remarked to Mrs. Taylor the singular fact of finding myself inside the room, when I felt a moment before, after being shot, that I was falling out, and I never could account for it until then. I was indeed falling out, when some villain aimed at my heart. The ball struck my watch, and forced me back; if I had fallen out I should assuredly have been killed, if not by the fall, by those around, and this ball, intended to dispatch me, was turned by and overruling Providence into a messenger of mercy, and saved my life. I shall never forget the feelings of gratitude that I then experienced towards my Heavenly Father; the whole scene was vividly portrayed before me, and my heart melted before the Lord.”
Now, John Taylor was shot in the chest, at the time, being shot does not register as a positive thing. But had he not been shot, he would have died. The Lord had a plan for him, although in the moment, it may not seem that way. And oh how much I whine and complain about things far more trivial than being shot, instead of waiting to see what he has in store for me. Sometimes we need to take our trials, and be grateful for the opportunity it gives us to grow.
Mormon says much the same thing in 9:31:
Condemn me not because of mine imperfection, neither my father, because of his imperfection, neither them who have written before him; but rather give thanks unto God that he hath made manifest unto you our imperfections, that ye may learn to be more wise than we have been.
Ether says something similar in 12:27:
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness, I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will make weak things strong unto them.
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When should we be grateful?
This commandment that came through the prophet Brigham Young at Winter Quarters when the saints were suffering the greatest of hardships, but the Lord was commanding them to be full of praise and thanksgiving anyway.
For another example, the pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished that these, who, nevertheless, set aside a day of Thanksgiving.
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Why should we be grateful?
In D&C it tells us many times that gratitude is actually a commandment. I will give the simplest example. D&C 59:7 “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.”
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Ingratitude
Sterling W. Sill in Laws of Success says: “One of the serious weaknesses in human character is the fact that people so often fail to give appreciation to other people.’ ‘The history of the world has shown that beneficiaries usually have short memories, and benefactors seldom receive proper appreciation. Moses, like many other great men, suffered most at the hands of his friends. He was the object of continual murmurings by the people he had given his life to serve.”
President Hinckley said: “Our society is afflicted by a spirit of thoughtless arrogance unbecoming those who have been so magnificently blessed. How grateful we should be for the bounties we enjoy. Absence of gratitude is the mark of the narrow, uneducated mind. It bespeaks a lack of knowledge and the ignorance of self sufficiency. It expresses itself in ugly egotism. Where there is appreciation, there is courtesy, there is concern for the rights and property of others. Without appreciation, there is arrogance and evil. Where there is gratitude, there is humility, as opposed to pride.”
Joseph F. Smith said: “I believe that one of the greatest sins of which the inhabitants of the earth are guilty today is the sin of ingratitude. We see a man raised up with extraordinary gifts, or with great intelligence, and he instrumental in developing some great principle. He and the world ascribe his great genius and wisdom to himself. He attributes his success to his own energies, labor and mental capacity. He does not acknowledge the hand of God in anything connected with his success, but ignores Him altogether and takes the honor to himself, this will apply to almost all the world. In all the great modern discoveries in science, in the arts, in mechanics, and in all material advancement of the age, the world says ‘We have done it.’ The individual says, ‘I have done it,’ and he gives no honor or credit to God.”
Abraham Lincoln said: “We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in number, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God who made us. It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended power, to confess our sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.”
Elder Thomas S. Monson once said:
“The United States post office dead-letter department receives annually thousands and thousands of children’s pre-Christmas letters addressed to Santa Claus asking for things. After it was all over one year, a single, solitary letter thanking Santa Claus was received. Could this be one of the problems of this troubled world; that people think only of getting—not giving? Of receiving—and not even expressing their gratitude for that which they do receive?”
Some have supposed that trials are reserved only for the disobedient. But the scriptures make it clear that even the humble and obedient will face tribulation. Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes our hardest experiences can be our greatest teachers.
In D&C 122:7 the Lord tells this to Joseph Smith:
And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experiences, and shall be for thy good.
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What am I grateful for?
In closing, I want to let you all know what I am grateful for. I am grateful that there is a plan for me no matter how hard I kick and scream against it. I’m grateful to be alive, and to be able to help others. I’m thankful for the fact that when I make a mistake, I can fix it, I can repent, I can apologize, I can change my behavior. I’m grateful for friends who support me and sacrifice for me. I’m grateful for a family that loves and supports me, no matter how many times I disappoint. I’m grateful for a testimony of the Gospel that helps me sleep at night, knowing that its not about what happens to me, but what I do about it.
And I have a testimony that our leaders are inspired. That when I am asked to talk about something, it is because I need to learn about it. I have a testimony that trials pass, but the character that is left behind is eternal, and that we can choose what kind of character that is. Good or bad. I have a testimony that being grateful for what you have will help you forget about what you don’t have.
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A couple of things struck me as I re-read this. Lets assume there is a God who is involved in our lives. Why am I less grateful to that God the more things that I get? Being blessed becomes routine, expected. Also, I needed to read these thoughts again. Many of these thoughts have since faded away and are not a part of my life. I think I’m a pretty appreciative person, but I think I’m only good at expressing my gratitude at those moments when it is expected of me. I struggle with showing my gratitude to others when it is not expected, when someone has not done anything in particular besides being themselves and being a friend. I wish I was better at putting pen to paper in that way.
I hate it
When movie trailers
Space out the text
Of an incredibly long run-on sentence
Through two and a half minutes
To the point where
I’m disoriented
And don’t even know what they are talking about
There isn’t any originality in any aspect of Hollywood
They have been doing it for years now
And it is starting to drive me a little crazy
A week ago I attended a football game between BYU and TCU, as evidenced by my low quality cell phone pics (my camera died as I tried to take my first picture.) It was a great game, a lot of fun, and not nearly my favorite BYU football moment of the week.
A while back new coach Bronco Mendenhall started a tradition of holding a “fireside” the night before each game. Home or away. A fireside is a sort of religious devotional but not quite a real religious service. Basically a series of short talk or sermons. These talks are given by the coaches and players. The firesides work pretty much everywhere because the LDS population is pretty much everywhere these days. Of course this one was in Provo, so it was packed.
I really can’t think of many people who are better role models than coach Mendenhall. Certainly not in the sports world. The man has been an absolute force of nature. He has single handedly restored pride to a program that didn’t have much, and they were used to having a lot. He has restored standards. In short, tradition, spirit, and honor. He has simultaneously cleaned up the team’s personality as well as willed them to be a winner again. Sometimes you trap yourself into thinking these things are mutually exclusive. They aren’t.
The coach looks on
While the team is winning again (a lot,) the main thing he has done is put sports in perspective. Not just for the players he is watching over, but for everyone who watches the games. There are a lot of things more important than winning. Your beliefs matter more. Family matters more. Priorities matter more. Accountability matters more. A lot of things do really. I think one thing I’ve learned from this team is that if you live right, you do the things you should be doing in your life, that the “wins” really fall into place. They are the logical result of good preparation and execution in the smallest and most important aspects of our daily lives. A win is only the sum of the smaller parts.
At the fireside I attended the players wore their beliefs on their sleeves. They sang and they spoke from the heart. When it was Bronco’s turn, he hit on a lot of things, but the thing that stuck with me was in regards to procrastination. Absolutely and issue for me. Been that way for a long time. The fireside was on Wednesday night instead of a Friday. That is because the game was on a Thursday instead of Saturday. He spoke about how practice on Monday is usually laid back, the players knowing they have several more days to prepare for the game on the weekend. That week he saw a big increase in urgency on Monday because the players knew they only had three days to prepare.
Coach related it to our lives. How often can we look at ourselves and find that we are treating our life’s goals and duties as if we have a game on the weekend instead of Thursday? This isn’t the smartest thing for us to do. We don’t know how long we’ll be alive. We don’t have the luxury of knowing what day we need to be prepared by. We should act accordingly.
PS. I will be at the game next week also when the Y faces the dirty, self loathing Mormons of the University of Utah.
My family travels more than the average family. Not a ton, but I’d put us ahead of most. Funny I use the word “us.” I’m usually not involved in these expeditions. I enjoy my solitude, and once I got old enough, family vacations mean me being home alone while the rest of the gang went to new exciting places. Without me my family has gone to England, Ireland, France, Italy, Venezuela, and Portugal. I’ve grown a little less xenophobic over the years. Last year I went to my first visit to a foreign country (not counting Canada.) I went to Mexico and Guatemala. I should share some photos from that trip later on.
When I got a phone call about visiting Ireland with family this year I said yes without thinking about it. As the time grew closer my old scrooge attitude crept in. But I went. I’m glad I did.
My family on my Father’s side is entirely from Ireland. On his Father’s side, we come from a group of islands off of the southwest corner of Ireland (near the Dingle peninsula) called the Blasket Islands. More specifically we are from The Great Blasket Island. The Blasket Islands were evacuated in 1953, but there was a rich history before that point, including many well known Irish writers.
The Blasket Islands
Many of those who left the island found themselves in Springfield, MA. This would include my Great Grandfather, who raised my Grandfather there as well as my Father. I was born in Massachusetts as well, then raised in Vermont. Many of my relatives still reside in Springfield. We spent every Christmas is Springfield until my Grandfather passed about a decade ago.
Well, the Blasket Island Centre was holding several nights to honor the living survivors and the descendants of the Blaskets. A great excuse for a visit. So Me, my Sister, my Parents, 2 Aunts, 1 Uncle, and Cousins Katie, Andy, and Mike made our way to Ireland for those festivities and beyond.
Ruins from the Great Blasket
Most people probably don’t know this about me, but my Great-Great Grandfather Padraig (or Patrick) O’Cathain was An Ri or King of the islands. His son – my Great Grandfather – Mike the Fiddler as he was called, immigrated to Springfield. As eldest son, he was to be King had he stayed. My Grandfather, as his eldest son, would have been King following him. My Father was his eldest son, and would have been King now. I am his eldest son, so you figure it out.
On the right – Padraig O’Cathain from the Blasket Centre Exhibit
My Aunt and Cousins with the famous fiddle of my Great Grandfather
O’Cathain (pronounced O-CA-HAN) was my family name before Gaelic began to die. The name was changed to Keane and then again to Kane on arrival in the US to avoid pronunciation errors.
The Family at a replica of the O’Cathain home
When we went to the Blasket Centre we were treated to incredible Irish dancing and music. Amazing really. Much better than any I have seen in the States. So good we didn’t really think to take many pictures. We got to meet the ambassadors to Ireland from Norway and Sweden. There were many survivors and descendants there and a lot of reverence to our family. It was really interesting to have men bow to my Father – the man who would be King.
Yours truly with the Great Blasket Island behind me on a misty day
Both my roommates are actors. On Halloween we decided to catch Saw IV at the famous Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. We do this every year, but this time Slif decided to dress up as Mr. Bean. He recently became obsessed with him after we dragged him out to Mr. Bean’s Holiday a couple months back. Slif can do a perfect Mr. Bean. Seriously. He looks just like him too. He can also can look just like Alfred E. Neuman. Not sure how marketable those skills are, but it’s funny anyway.
While we were out on Hollywood blvd. Bean decided to see if he could make a few extra bucks by posing as one of those movie character street hustlers.
Look at these two morons pay a buck for a picture with him!
The dude even stayed in character while ordering popcorn. Hilarious.
My year of ridiculous travel continues. I arrived in Utah to visit the family yesterday. I’ll be here for a week. What will I do with my time? No clue.
By the way, would it make me a bad person if I wrote a blog entry about how excited I was about the commencement of the Celtics season, then went ahead and DVRed the game and went to a BYU basketball game instead?
It was unplanned (as evidenced by cell phone pictures only,) but I couldn’t turn down the gift.
Very nice seats. However, my attendance at today’s football game was planned, and it was excellent. Also, this has kind of turned into a sports blog, which I don’t want it to be. I’ll try to expand the scope of the blog in the future. It just happens to be a really good sports year.
Tonight marks the first time the Celtics have been relevant in about 15 years. I don’t count 2001-02 – even though I went to one heck of a game that year – because I was on my mission for most of the season, including the incredible series against New Jersey. I still haven’t seen those games.
It has been a mighty long time.
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You Know What I’m Saying?
